A birthday wish for getting older
I’ve never really cared about my birthday. Not necessarily because I’m one of those people that doesn’t like birthdays but for reasons I could never quite understand. It wasn’t until I told my therapist about this last year that she made me realize that being adopted may make this day feel complicated. And she’s right, it is complicated, but that’s for another day.
I’m 36 today which I am so grateful for because another year of life has been given to me, unlike so many others that have left this Earth too soon. As ridiculous as it sounds, turning 35 was probably the hardest year for me because quite honestly, it was the first time I really noticed age change my face, my body — all met with the reality of not remaining young, fit, and beautiful forever like every anti-aging beauty product or social media influencer promises. I had also just returned from Korea rather heartbroken for many reasons literally owning nothing except some clothes that fit into a large suitcase and carry-on. And the isolation I felt from being a single, unmarried woman with no kids living in a society that seems to only celebrate the opposite, just made it worse.
It took the whole year of 2020 to fully heal myself again and damn was it the worst year to try and do that. Growing older is a gift that often gets undeniably shamed because so much of it becomes associated with our appearance and what we have gained as each tenure milestone screams louder and louder forcing us to compare ourselves to others and speed up the process of fitting into what society tells us is the right way to live.
But my wish this year for myself and anyone else who might be feeling this way is to remember — what fits for some, doesn’t always fit for others at the same time, in the same way or if at all. And that’s ok because maybe we’re all just lucky to be alive. So here’s to another year wiser, my dear 36.
